Whatever you feel you can contribute, add that to your list of essay goals. My goal in the classroom is to engage all of the senses as much as possible. Let students talk and be active every chance possible. Depending on the question, I will do this even if I know the answer because I want student to use resources available to them and to speak themselves.
As you work and rework the essay, pay attention to the admission deadlines and requirements. The admissions officers are expecting you to celebrate yourself, to underline your strengths and personality, so they can make a quick, accurate judgment about you.
Now you need to focus your goals to only three or four ideas — the ones that will make you the most attractive to the college admissions board.
Do all your subjects and verbs agree?
I love thinking on my feet and leading a discussion with engaged students. We offer students extra credit or opportunities to do a revision, yet few if any will take advantage of it.
Students remember far more of what they say than what I say.
You should take some time to think about what else makes you different from most the other hundreds of students writing college admissions essays.
Confining students' semester grade to a midterm and a final exam is not a true reflection of how much they learn and grow in a semester. Treat students as equals.